Questionable deals

If your inner voice tells you that you don’t want to make a deal, stop the negotiation. Relax. Examine that message. Either your subconscious will send you a more detailed message, or your conscious mind will work it out logically. Heed any strong messages that a given course of action is wise or unwise. Mold your conduct to that message. You don’t have to stand up in the middle of a meeting and announce to the assembly that your inner voice is telling you that the discussions are over. In fact, you may decide to keep the source of your decision to yourself. You should heed the message and begin to concentrate on closing the discussion. Wrap up the deal. Use the message without necessarily announcing it to the room.

Shady characters

Although hardly anyone states it so bluntly, one thing you want to know about the other party in a negotiation is whether you can trust the information that person gives you. What is this person’s reputation for honesty and accuracy? If you are trying to negotiate efficiently, you must find out the general trustworthiness of the assertions from the other side.
Sometimes you hear that someone is not dishonest, just ignorant, inefficient, or inexperienced. These qualities may sound better than dishonesty, but they have the same consequence to you. As a negotiator, you can’t afford to blindly accept anything that such a person says to you.
A different but highly related issue is whether you can trust the client represented by the person with whom you are negotiating. Even if you trust the negotiator, you may feel that you need to be extra-careful in dealing with the party on the other side of the negotiating table.
The best advice I can offer is not to do business with a person you don’t trust. No lawyer in the world can protect you from someone determined to do you in, cheat you, or steal from you. No cop or security system in the world can protect your house from a sufficiently determined thief. President Kennedy once prophetically observed, “There is no Secret Service agent who can guarantee a president’s life, if someone is willing to give their own life in exchange.”
Sometimes you are forced to do business with someone you don’t trust. In such a case, be sure to focus on the parts of the contract that will protect you if something goes wrong. Decide where a lawsuit would be filed and in which courts. Your lawyer can be a big help here. Make provisions for when and how you can check the books for accuracy. In such a case, you must prepare a much more detailed contract than you normally would. Having clauses that protect you is always important in case you come to honest differences that you did not anticipate. Such clauses are the special province of an experienced attorney. For example, if someone is to pay you money under a contract, you want a fast and certain way to collect in case of default. The negotiator who does not consider this aspect of the deal is not doing a good job. Negotiating for big payments is futile if the payments are, as a practical matter, uncollectible. You may want to insist that all funds under negotiation be held in a special account until the contract is finalized. If you want to include clauses to protect yourself but can’t get the other party to agree, you must decide whether you want to do business with this person. Listen carefully to why the other party is not willing to provide certain mechanisms that put your mind at ease about payment. If that person insists on maintaining an unfair out, think twice before entering into the agreement. Be clear in expressing the importance of these provisions and why you must have them.
If everything else seems good about a deal, walking away based on these points can be difficult. The other side knows that and will often turn the issue into a trust test: “If you trust me, you’ll make this deal with me.” Look such a person right in the eye and say, “I trust you well enough to enter this deal. But I don’t know what good or bad fortune is going to visit you over the next year while I need steady payments. You may quit the company (or sell your business). You may get killed. I just don’t know what the future holds.”

Hearing two voices? You’re not crazy

Be assured that you don’t have two different inner voices inside you. You only have one of these phenomenal subconscious centers. When people talk about conflicting voices within themselves, they are frequently experiencing their conscious mind testing the solution provided by the subconscious mind. Almost without exception, the solution provided by the subconscious part of the mind survives this testing, but the solution provided by the conscious part of the mind is easier to rationalize and explain. The conscious thought process can be reduced to words. Much of the “testing” of what is provided by your subconscious is your memory of voices from your childhood, mostly from your mother or father. Your inner voice tells you to go forth. A parental voice, indelibly etched in your memory, says, “Don’t do that. That is dangerous. You will fail.” As adults, we need to recognize the play of memory messages. If you are hearing those old parental warnings, look skyward and say, “It’s okay. I can do it. And if I fail, that’s okay, too. I need to try — for me.”
If the owner of that parental voice is still alive, look skyward anyway. Don’t act out this conversation with the real person. The last thing you need is a protracted discussion with a dubious critic at just the time you need to gather up your courage and embark on a new adventure. Inner critics aren’t all bad. Having an inner critic is good when you need that kind of feedback. Decide between your inner voice and your inner critic and do what is right for you.