If you pay attention to body language early in a negotiation, you can spot signals of how receptive (that is, how ready to listen and how open to your ideas) your counterpart is. Consider eye contact, for example. Research shows that, during conversation, people look at each other between 30 and 60 percent of the time. A listener who meets your eyes less than 30 percent of the time is probably unreceptive. If eye contact is made more than 60 percent of the time, chances are the listener’s attitude is positive.Receptive people look relaxed with open hands, displaying the palms, indicating an openness to discussion. The more of the palm that is visible, the greater the receptivity of the person. They lean forward, whether they are sitting or standing. Receptive negotiators unbutton their coats. Public television’s Mr. Rogers always removed his sweater, exemplifying the body language of an open, honest person ready to listen to what you have to say.
By contrast, people who aren’t willing to listen may keep their hands on their hips, lean back in the chair, or protectively fold their arms across their chest. People who aren’t receptive clench their hands into a fist or tightly grip some other body part. Having one leg up on the arm of the chair often appears to be an open posture, but watch out, this position may signal a lack of consideration, especially if the office doesn’t belong to the person demonstrating this behavior.
Studies show that parties are more likely to reach an agreement if they begin a negotiation displaying receptive body language.
This result appears to be true whether the stance was an unconscious decision or a contrived strategy for beginning a meeting in a positive manner. In addition, the defensive postures are also contagious. If one person assumes a defensive posture and holds that position for any period of time, you can actually watch others in the room adopting the same position. It’s amazing but true. Body language is contagious.
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