Being able to accurately read the true attitude and feelings of someone across the table can be enormously important. Seldom do you see adults physically clap their hands over their ears to avoid hearing something, but people have other ways of signaling that they aren’t listening, such as allowing their eyes to wander or attending to an unrelated task.
Disney released a wonderful film called Frank and Ollie about a couple of the world’s greatest observers of body language. Frank Thomas and Ollie Johnston were two of the original animators of such classics as Cinderella and Bambi. This film shows them mimicking various elements of body language to communicate feelings and then making sketches of their own movements. Watch this movie as a primer on body language; it illustrates the points of this chapter better than all the words ever written on the subject. The ability to read a person’s body language enables you to adjust your approach to that person. Based on what you learn about the other person’s mood or attitude, you can temper your own words and actions appropriately — for example, you can calm down someone who’s agitated or perk up someone who’s bored.
Discover how much fun you can have reading the body language of others. The more you practice this skill, the better you will be at negotiating. The next time you go to an event connected to your work, pause a moment at the door. Instead of looking for someone you know, look over the room. Identify the more influential people. Try to distinguish who wields power. Who are the employers? Who are the employees? What differences in body language make social status apparent? If you’re at a social gathering, see if you can spot very outgoing people. Who is shy? Are any of the couples fighting?
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