Deciding How You Are Going to Achieve Your Vision

Having a vision and knowing your values is great, but you need to know how you’re going to get where you want to go. You have to set a path for yourself so you can eventually live in that picture you have created for yourself. Note how values come into play in the business world. Small and large companies are specific when translating their missions into action. Think of the values (those things that are treated with importance and respect) affirmed by companies like McDonald’s or Blockbuster. Both respect family values. The fast-food chain’s mascot is a cheerful and colorful clown, and the restaurants have play areas. The food chain is fast, clean, and brightly lit. It caters to youngsters. Unlike many other movie-rental stores, Blockbuster doesn’t have an adult-movie section. This feature has made Blockbuster a safe place for parents to send their kids to pick up movies. Both companies demonstrate their commitment to their corporate vision and values through their action plan.
Internet service companies have also incorporated values into their business models. All major Internet services now provide parental control blockers. These devices help parents keep their children safe from Web sites that they consider questionable while their kids surf the Internet.

Upping the stakes

Here’s my definition of commitment:
If you don’t achieve your objective, someone will cut off your hand.
This definition sounds harsh. It is harsh. It draws a gasp at seminars. I never use it unless someone starts blaming others for something when, in fact, the problem would be solved by a little higher commitment from the person doing the complaining.
For instance, one participant insisted she had done all the right things, and the “other guy” was consistently late on a report due to her every Thursday by 5 p.m. The “other guy,” in this case, was a co-worker in another department of her company, and she depended on his information. When asked what she did about the late report, she said, “Well, I call him Friday morning and really chastise him for not turning in the report.” She was someone who prefers to have reasons for not getting a job done rather than doing whatever it takes to get it done. That’s when I stated my definition of commitment and asked her, “What if your hand is cut off at 5:01 on Thursday if you don’t have the report from him?” Her demeanor changed. The good solutions flew fast and furious. “I might tell him that the report was due Wednesday. Not only would I tell him it was due Wednesday, but I would probably be a lot nicer to him. I would probably want to know who was in charge of the material for his report in case he died before 5 on Thursday. I would visit his office, ask about his kids, and make sure that the material for my report is in a fireproof filing cabinet.” If the stakes are high enough, you will change your behavior, even if it means taking extra steps — that’s commitment. Even with the people who seem most impossible, you can get what you want if you are committed to getting results.

Creating Your Vision

Most corporations and businesses have a mission or vision statement. The U.S. Army’s old adage is “Be all that you can be.” Employers often distribute their statement to employees at every level. They post it on their Web sites, display it on prominent bulletin boards, and print it in various company publications. Every employee is expected to know this statement. Ask those same employees whether they have a vision statement for their own lives and careers, and far too often the answer is no.
If you want to have the best personal life and a successful career, you need to think about your goals. The good life, no matter how you define it, doesn’t just happen. You need to set an agenda for both your short- and long-term goals. Think of your life as a negotiation. The better prepared you are, the smoother the negotiation is likely to go. Even a little planning is more than most people do, so making a small effort now puts you far ahead of the pack. The first step in creating a master plan for yourself is to identify your vision. A vision is an image of a desired future. The word vision is from the Latin videre, meaning to see. You should state your vision by describing, in present tense, a picture of the future you see for yourself. Your vision should be as rich in detail and as visual as possible. The description must be clear, understandable, and descriptive. Most important, your vision needs to motivate you. You count on your vision to give your life shape and direction. Here are some vision statements. I know that the first three have worked very well.

• Nordstrom: “To become America’s store of choice through the commitment of each employee to provide customers the very best in quality, value, selection, and service.”
• Microsoft: “Someday we’ll see a computer on every desk and in every home.”
• My law office: “To help my clients realize their dreams.”
• Young businessman: “To climb up the corporate ladder in an honest and professional way.”

In his book Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill states that 98 percent of people are in their current jobs because of indecision — they never decided what they wanted to do in their lives in the first place. That failure to form a vision of what the future looks like explains why so many people feel that they may have a life purpose, but they have no idea what that life purpose is. Forget about the money, this is just a very unfortunate way to spend your life. It’s important to go through the process of evaluating your vision statement each year. In the past, I assessed my vision verbally. Today, I make sure to write my vision down. Keeping a written record creates better accountability. Your vision is a long-term, ongoing, open-ended process. When you read your vision statement, it motivates you to passionately seek to achieve your goals.

Goal and preparation

We’re riding on the information superhighway and never looking back. The landscape of communication has changed dramatically, thanks to the telephone and the Internet. These forms of telecommunication have made communication faster and sometimes simpler. More importantly, they’ve created a new mode of negotiating. You can now negotiate from the comfort of your own home, in a car while driving to your office, or from a different part of the world.
Negotiating via the telephone and Internet requires the same preparation and etiquette as a face-to-face negotiation. The only difference is that the negotiation happens at the lift of a headset or the push of a button. Although simpler, using the telephone or Internet to negotiate is not as good as negotiating in person. You miss the human interaction, the body language, and the gestures that are so important in gauging others when negotiating in a room.
Several steps, large and small, can help you take charge of all the negotiations you face in your life. Even if you currently think that you could never take control of certain areas of your life, challenge yourself to entertain the possibility. Consider actors, who do a great deal of waiting. Think of some employees who regard their roles as reactive and not proactive, whose job descriptions entail responding to someone else’s needs. The fact that your dreams or your paycheck seem to hinge on forces beyond your control shouldn’t stop you from creating a master plan for your life. Create a vision statement and an action plan.
After you have the big picture well in hand, you need to prepare physically and mentally for specific negotiations.

Negotiation on the phone and via the Internet

We’re riding on the information superhighway and never looking back. The landscape of communication has changed dramatically, thanks to the telephone and the Internet. These forms of telecommunication have made communication faster and sometimes simpler. More importantly, they’ve created a new mode of negotiating. You can now negotiate from the comfort of your own home, in a car while driving to your office, or from a different part of the world.

Negotiating via the telephone and Internet requires the same preparation and etiquette as a face-to-face negotiation. The only difference is that the negotiation happens at the lift of a headset or the push of a button. Although simpler, using the telephone or Internet to negotiate is not as good as negotiating in person. You miss the human interaction, the body language, and the gestures that are so important in gauging others when negotiating in a room.

International negotiations

International negotiation (or cross-cultural negotiation) is one of many specialized areas in the world of negotiating. The six basic skills are just as critical, if not more critical, in international negotiations as they are when you’re negotiating on home turf. International deals require more preparation because you have to tailor your negotiating approach to the customs of the country you’re negotiating in.
Preparing for cross-cultural negotiating requires more than just understanding how foreigners close a deal. You have to know the differences in communication, their attitude toward conflict, how they complete tasks, their decision-making processes, and how they disclose information. Even the body language in other countries is very different from what we’re accustomed to in the United States. Eye contact, personal space, and touch vary among countries.
Research the country’s traditions before walking into a negotiating room on foreign soil. Watch foreign language films, read travel guides, and learn key phrases in your counterpart’s language during the preparation process. Bridge the communication gap as much as possible. When you start behaving like a native, you’ll earn the respect and confidence of your foreign counterpart.

When negotiations get complicated

In simple negotiations, you can apply the six basic skills at previous posts without too much trouble. But what happens when a negotiation gets complicated? Complex negotiations happen when the negotiation becomes larger in scope, and the amount of work and organization requires more than two people (one on each side of the negotiating table) can handle alone. When the negotiation shifts from a two-person affair to a 20-person affair, the negotiation is complicated. On a personal level, a negotiation becomes complicated when you invest all your emotion and effort into getting the deal closed. For example, a salary negotiation, although simple in theory, carries a lot of emotional weight behind it.
No matter the size and factors involved in the negotiation, the six basic skills serve as your core to making the negotiation a success. Complicated negotiations often involve multiple issues, multiple parties, handling the media, and other fun factors.

Closing the deal

Sometimes deals don’t seem to close even when the parties are more or less in agreement on all the important issues. Sometimes this happens because someone in the room is being difficult. This takes all forms. Maybe a person is being a bully or trying to pull the wool over your eyes. Maybe someone is disrupting the proceedings by yelling or being bossy. Pushing past these problems involves pushing the pause button — hard. Take breaks as often as necessary so everyone has a chance to regroup. You are not the only person in the room who is affected by these people.
Sometime deals get hung up because of the other side’s tactics. You probably can list them as well as anyone: a constant change of position, playing good cop/bad cop, having to check with an invisible partner. When you run into one of these behaviors, push the pause button. When you’re on a break, analyze your opponent’s tactics, and when you return to the negotiating table, ask specific questions of the other side. Listen carefully to get around the obstruction. It’s the point where everything comes together, when two parties mutually agree on the terms of the deal. But how soon is too soon to close? The answer: It’s never too soon to close. You want to start closing as quickly and efficiently as possible — under reasonable parameters, of course. You don’t have to close the whole deal right away. You can close a piece of it by agreeing tentatively and moving on to other issues. Closing the deal isn’t always a smooth process. Sometimes you are dealing with someone who fears making a bad deal or is afraid of his or her boss who never likes a result no matter how good it is and how hard everyone worked. Again, ask a lot of questions to find out what is going on, and then help this person with his or her problem.
A good negotiator is often just someone who helps the other side understand all the good points of his or her proposal and gives the other person the tools and arguments to sell the proposal to whoever needs to be sold.

Push the pause button

Everyone has a pause button — a little device inside our heads that helps us maintain emotional distance in a negotiation. Some use it more than others. Others don’t use it all. The pause button can take many forms — it can be a break during a heated negotiation, or it can be a moment of silence when you don’t agree with someone’s argument.
When you use your pause button during a negotiation, you prevent yourself from saying things you may later regret. Your pause button also allows you a moment of reflection. When you don’t use your pause button, you may jump into a deal too quickly because you didn’t spend enough time thinking about your words and actions.
Never let your emotions take control of your actions. Figure out in advance what sets you off. Identify your hot buttons. When you know what upsets you, talk about it with others on your team so you and they are ready if this kind of situation arises. We all have hot buttons, so we may as well deal with them upfront. If a negotiation looks to be headed south and talks are at a standstill, don’t panic. Use your pause button. Think about the steps that got you to this point. Instead of making outlandish demands or angrily storming out of the negotiating room, take a breather and suggest meeting at a later time.

Always Make Yourself Clear

When I say be clear, I mean be clear in what you say and what you do. This sounds easier than it is. You must be sure that your actions, your body language, your tone of voice, and your words all send the same message. Are you as clear as you can be in your communications? You can rate yourself or ask those you love and trust. A good negotiator is an excellent communicator and understands how others think, feel, and function. But first, you must start by analyzing yourself.
Here are some tips for being clear: Know your purpose in speaking and cut the mumbo-jumbo. Keep all your commitments. If you say that you are going to get back to someone at 10 a.m., be sure that you get back to them at 10 a.m. In the rush of the workday, we often shortchange ourselves and others on clarity. When you say one thing and do another, you may confuse people. Good communicators are consistent communicators. When you become sensitive to being clear, you can start helping others. You can tactfully bring the tangent people back to the point of the conversation and subtly curb the interrupters. When you meet people who are unprepared, you can educate them and bring them up to speed. You can get some pointers on improving your clarity, as well as other’s clarity. (You’ll also find some tongue-in-cheek methods to really foul up communications.) As you master the six skills, you model them for others on your team and often to those on the other side of the table. And the negotiation goes all the better for it.

Are you a good listener?

The vast majority of people think they are good listeners. Instead of gratifying your ego with self-indulgent reassurance, take a survey to figure out if you’re a good listener. Find out the true state of your listening skills from objective evidence or those who will be brutally honest with you. Learning to listen is one of the most important skills to develop when negotiating. Before a negotiation, know the specific areas where you want to gather information. Listen attentively during the meeting. Get the most information you can, and you will have a successful negotiation. Check your bad listening habits at the door. Always expect to find something of value from the other person. The rewards of good listening skills are amazing. Stated affirmatively, here are some tips for becoming a good listener: Clear away the clutter in your office. Count to three before responding to a question so that the question (or comment) can sink in. Keep notes. Be sure that you are fully awake and present.
If you experience communication problems during a negotiation, it’s probably because you or the other party wasn’t listening.
Part of the listening process involves interaction between the two parties. Don’t be afraid to ask questions as you gather your information. When you ask questions, you refine the information you have received from the other party. Questions are a real power tool.
If you don’t get the information you want to receive, ask a follow-up question. And never, ever interrupt someone who is trying to answer a question you have asked.
Whatever you do, don’t accept any substitutes for the information you are seeking. Some folks will try to dodge a question or make a strong general statement instead of answering your specific question. If someone responds to your question without answering it, ask it a little differently. But don’t let them off the hook.

Setting Goal and Limit for Negotiation

The only way to achieve anything is to set goals. Sometimes your goal setting can be quite subconscious. This triggers the impulse purchase. You see something you want, you set your goal to acquire it, your hand goes out, you grab it, and it’s yours. That is a familiar retail scenario. In the business situation, setting goals is a more-serious, labor-intensive process. When setting goals, you need to have a brainstorming session where all the possibilities are explored for any given negotiation. Then you have to pare back your list so you have a manageable number of goals to work on. You don’t want to overload any single negotiation with all your hopes and dreams for all times. Go into a negotiation with an appropriate list of things to achieve.
The easiest and fastest way to keep your goals in mind is to write them down. This helps you visualize them and makes them real. Place them somewhere where you will see them on a daily basis. After you’ve written down your goals, ask yourself why your goals mean so much to you. Goals are led by your inner desires. Let your intuition guide you toward achieving them.

Before starting your next negotiation, ask yourself this simple question:
“What do I want out of this negotiation?”
Don’t be afraid to answer it.
Talk it out. Write it down.

After you’ve nailed down your goals, you need to set limits. Setting your limits simply means to determine the point at which you are willing to walk away from this deal and close the deal elsewhere. For instance, you set limits when you interview for a job by establishing the lowest salary you’ll accept. Setting limits is a scary thing. It takes practice for some people, but if you don’t do it, others will take and take and take as long as you keep giving. At some point, you realize that you have given too much — a line has been crossed — all because you did not set your limits ahead of time. If you find this happening to you.