How to Practice Negotiating toward a Limit?

Limits are not much help if you cave in every time you set them. In fact, caving in too often can gravely affect a relationship. Parents who constantly lay down the law only to pick it up a few minutes later usually end up raising brats — confused, unhappy brats at that. Now you have one more reason to practice enforcing your limits!

In the beginning, practice the steps in situations outside of your business or personal relationships. It is particularly fun and somewhat easier, psychologically, to walk away from a deal when you’re on vacation. You are browsing at your leisure, and you see something you want to buy. Be sure that you are willing to buy the item, because you may just close the deal. Be equally sure that you are willing to leave the shop without the item, because that is the point of this game.

Note the price. Determine what you are willing to pay for it, which must be much less than the indicated price. Don’t just grab a number because you want to play a game with the shopkeeper. Give serious thought to the true value of the item. If the item is already a bargain, maybe this isn’t the right shop for this exercise. When you have set a price, begin talking with the shopkeeper. Don’t say what your bottom-line price is. Instead, offer less than you are willing to pay but above what you think the shopkeeper paid. If the shopkeeper tells you that bargaining is against store policy, explain that you would really like the item, but you feel it is overpriced. State that you are from out of town and can wait until you get back home, but you would like to make the purchase here, if you can agree on terms. Generally, the owner makes a concession. If not, ask whether anybody is available with whom you can discuss the matter further — you may not have engaged the decision maker. (If you’re new at this approach, you may be more comfortable making your first effort in a shop where bargaining seems okay, such as an antiques shop.) If no further negotiation takes place, say thanks and politely walk out. Closing even this non-negotiation in a formal way is important. Don’t just slink away like a beaten hound. You offered the shopkeeper an opportunity to move some merchandise. Make sure that the shopkeeper knows the opportunity is passing. Don’t apologize for not overpaying for the item. The shopkeeper may well respond with a lower offer. Don’t automatically accept. Remember that, although you are willing to purchase the item, you are seeking the experience of hanging tough, even walking away from a deal. You may increase your offer slightly but don’t move too fast toward the end point. After all, you want to practice!

If the shopkeeper quickly meets your unstated limit, keep the negotiation going. Adjust your price downward, toward your last stated position. When a buyer with cash meets a willing seller, what follows may surprise you even in shops where you think bargaining is strictly forbidden.