What It Means to Set Limits?

Your limits define the absolute most you are willing to give up to get what you want. Setting limits means establishing the point at which you are willing to walk away from the negotiation and pursue some alternative course. Your limit may be the highest price you’ll pay for a car, the lowest salary you’ll accept from a prospective employer, the farthest you’re willing to drive before it’s your spouse’s turn to take over, or the latest curfew you’ll allow for your teenager. If the negotiation doesn’t close before your limits are crossed, then no car, no job, no trip, no date — no dice.
In business negotiations, setting limits may not seem necessary because the marketplace can define the boundaries of the discussion. People generally have an idea about the price of goods or services; they know what others are paying for comparable homes, cars, or cleaning services. They assume the discussion will not go beyond an acceptable range or what they consider to be a fair and reasonable value for the product or service under negotiation. Not true. Even business negotiations can go off track, especially in times of economic downturn or if other business conditions change suddenly. Think about the last three times you became upset about something in your personal life. It’s almost a certainty that at least one of those situations was caused by the fact that your limits were crossed. You probably didn’t articulate those limits in advance. For example, your neighbor comes over unannounced to chat. You have only a few minutes to spare, but you fail to tell your visitor. Out of kindness, you listen while your blood pressure rises as the neighbor talks for an hour.

Unfortunately, setting limits is a very difficult task for some people. It takes practice and assertiveness. Start small: Set a limit of 60 seconds the next time someone calls to chat when you don’t have time. Tell them upfront. That should be enough time to take care of the pleasantries necessary to maintain the relationship and still get you off the phone. You don’t have to be rude about it. Simply set your limitations. Your time is precious. Setting limits is worth the effort. People who consistently make bad deals usually don’t set limits before the negotiation starts. They don’t know when to walk away. You must know your limits and know how to enforce them. Knowing that you’re prepared to walk away gives you the strength and confidence to be firm, even if the other party isn’t aware of your limits or your ability to enforce them.