Clear away the clutter

To be a good listener, you have to clear out the clutter. This isn’t just a question of good manners, it’s an absolute necessity if you want to focus on the person speaking to you. Noise clutter, desk clutter, and even mind clutter all interfere with good listening. It also keeps others from listening to you. Watch Mike Judge’s satire Office Space for a lesson on clearing away the clutter. The film, released during the dot.com bust, is about an ordinary guy, Peter Gibbons, who works for a large, high-tech company called Initech. The lesson on clutter comes from Milton, Peter’s co-worker who is on the verge of being laid off. Milton is a frumpy curmudgeon who hides in his cubicle behind stacks of files. Nobody talks to Milton. He mumbles throughout most of the film, and the annoying office manager ultimately banishes Milton to a cockroach-infested storage room. Most of us aren’t Milton, but the eccentric character teaches us that clearing away the clutter makes life easier. Stacks of files, trinkets on your desk, or a red stapler will only distract others when speaking to you. Clutter gives an initial impression of disorganization. Disorganization leads to mistrust from the other party because it sends the message that if your desk is disorganized, so is your way of being.

Our law firm used to have an attorney whose office was such a mess that I quit giving him work. I would go into his office with something that needed to get done, see the mess, and leave without ever mentioning the task. We developed a wonderful friendship, but I took the work down the hall to another attorney who always completed the task on time and without me worrying one bit that it would be lost in a big pile on his desk. The lawyer who did the work had a desk that was immaculate. He listened carefully to my instructions and never, ever missed a deadline. He was so busy that he eventually left us to go out on his own where he is doing very well. Think about the worst listener you’ve encountered in your life. If you have a teenager, you probably don’t have to look far. Consider the all-too-typical teen’s life: an MP3 player plugged into both ears, television set blaring, books and clothes strewn everywhere. No wonder your teenager can’t hear you. Your words may temporarily penetrate the chaos, but the full content of your message doesn’t get through. It can’t get through all the clutter. Why not learn from your teenager’s mistakes?

• When you talk to someone, don’t just mute the television set, turn it off. _ If you have something else on your mind, write it down before you enter a conversation. With a note as a reminder, you won’t worry about forgetting to address the issue — and your mind is free to concentrate on the conversation.
• Clear your desk — or whatever is between you and the speaker — so you can focus on what the speaker is saying.
• Don’t accept phone calls while you’re talking with someone else. Interrupting a conversation to take a telephone call makes the person in the room with you feel unimportant and makes what you have to say seem unimportant.

When a co-worker comes to your office, don’t feel that you need to engage in a discussion right away. If you know that you need to finish a task, you may be better off delaying the conversation. Otherwise, the unfinished task will play gently on your mind and distract you from listening effectively. If the project you’re engaged in will only take a moment to complete, try saying, “Just a minute, let me finish this so I can give you my full attention.” If it’s going to take a while, ask to schedule a meeting for later that day. You may be afraid that the other person will be insulted if you put him or her off. In fact, the vast majority of people are flattered that you actually want to listen. Your co-workers would rather wait until you can listen than have you tending to other business while they’re trying to talk to you. The same rule holds true for phone conversations. Never try to negotiate on the telephone while you’re reading a note from your assistant, catching up on filing, or doing research on the Internet. Trying to do two tasks at once simply doesn’t work. True, your ears can be engaged in listening while your eyes are occupied with something else. However, your brain cannot simultaneously process the conflicting information from your eyes and from your ears. Both messages lose out.

I know a lot of people who like to brag about their ability to multitask, and they’re probably safe to do so, if the tasks are not very important or accuracy is not critical. But if it’s anything important, don’t multitask. Don’t ever try to con yourself into believing that you can listen effectively while you’re doing something else that requires the least little bit of brainpower. To be a better listener, clear the clutter away — from your ears, your desk, and your mind. Nothing gets in the way like stuff. Get rid of it.