People often spend very little time considering the best environment for negotiating, or they rely on rules that make arranging a time and place difficult. For example, when both sides consider it necessary to negotiate in their own office, getting things started is impossible. If your position is low on the corporate ladder and you feel you have no control over the details of the negotiating environment, giving this issue some consideration is even more important. For example, you may think that the location in which you negotiate for a raise may already be set. Read on. The material covered in this section can help you make even your boss’s office a more-receptive negotiating environment.
Showing posts with label 3. Know yourself and getting ready. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 3. Know yourself and getting ready. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Walking through the door
No matter how sleep-deprived, harried, or down-in-the-dumps you may be, always enter the negotiating room with assertiveness. Establish confidence and control from the opening moment. That moment sets a tone for the entire meeting. This fact is true even if you are not officially in charge of the meeting. These guidelines can vault the most junior person at a meeting to MVP status almost immediately.
Never forget the pleasantries. If the last negotiating session ended on a bad note, clear that away first. Otherwise, you run the risk that unrelated matters may ignite the controversy all over again. If you can resolve the situation up front, you can move forward unfettered. Ignoring such a situation just leaves the ill-will hovering over the negotiating table. I call it the “elephant in the room.” The bad feelings creep into and influence every conversation. The negativity taints all the proceedings until it has been cleared away. As your hand is on the door of the negotiating room or as you dial the phone number of your counterpart, put on your attitude.
Take a beat and lift yourself up to the occasion. Grandmother was right — “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.” Toss your head back — literally. Smile, inside and out. Focus on your immediate purposes. Have your right hand free to shake hands with whoever is there. If the meeting requires you to wear one of those awful name badges, be sure to write your name in large letters and place the badge high on your right side so people can easily read it. Improving your attitude just before the session begins can be one of the most valuable moments you spend in a negotiation.
Here are some tips in case you are in charge of the meeting:
Never forget the pleasantries. If the last negotiating session ended on a bad note, clear that away first. Otherwise, you run the risk that unrelated matters may ignite the controversy all over again. If you can resolve the situation up front, you can move forward unfettered. Ignoring such a situation just leaves the ill-will hovering over the negotiating table. I call it the “elephant in the room.” The bad feelings creep into and influence every conversation. The negativity taints all the proceedings until it has been cleared away. As your hand is on the door of the negotiating room or as you dial the phone number of your counterpart, put on your attitude.
Take a beat and lift yourself up to the occasion. Grandmother was right — “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.” Toss your head back — literally. Smile, inside and out. Focus on your immediate purposes. Have your right hand free to shake hands with whoever is there. If the meeting requires you to wear one of those awful name badges, be sure to write your name in large letters and place the badge high on your right side so people can easily read it. Improving your attitude just before the session begins can be one of the most valuable moments you spend in a negotiation.
Here are some tips in case you are in charge of the meeting:
- Make sure that all participants are present and ready to listen. If someone is missing, you face the first dilemma of a meeting leader: to start or not to start the meeting. Follow your gut and the culture in which you are operating. If you are always prompt and you have a roomful of folks whose time is valuable (whose isn’t?), proceed and educate the laggard later. If the missing person is the boss, well, again, the culture is important. Some bosses would be annoyed that you held the meeting for them.
- State your purpose for having the meeting. This is like the opening paragraph of a term paper. If there is not a written agenda, outline the important points you will discuss. Knowing what is going to happen helps keep everyone focused.
- If there is a written agenda, be sure everyone has one and take a
- moment to review it. Put time restraints on each agenda item. Doing so keeps you from lingering on a subject longer than expected and not giving enough time to others.
- Make a clear request for agreement on the agenda and procedure.
- Gauge how the other party feels about your agenda. This is an important step on the road to closing a deal. This is your chance to build empathy and start things off with something on which everyone is in agreement.
- Acknowledge the participants’ attitudes and feelings as they relate toyour purpose. Your objective is to close the deal. To do this, you need to establish empathy from the beginning of the meeting.
- Begin according to the agenda. If you deviate from your plan at the beginning of the meeting, you will have a very hard time gaining control later on You’ve opened the meeting and presented your agenda. You’ve taken the first step into the negotiation process. Breathe.
Dressing for success
During the 1980s, two books had considerable impact on what people wore in order to get power and respect. These books, geared toward the professional, have a much wider application if you read between the lines. The first book, Dress for Success by John T. Molloy, chauvinistically addressed only men. The book’s popularity led to a sequel, The Woman’s Dress for Success Book. Both are valuable, if dated, aids for young executives.
The theory of both books is to look at the boss in order to look like the boss. The startling response to Molloy’s books was that, all through the 1980s, droves of young female professionals began wearing dark blue suits, white silk blouses, and big red bows at the neck. Perhaps they were helping themselves up the ladder of success, but the necessity (or perceived necessity) for ambitious young women to transform their appearance to break into the good old boys’ club is distressing.
Today, dress styles in the workplace vary widely depending on the type of business. In the entertainment industry, for instance, dress styles tend to be more casual. Visit any animation studio and you will see folks dressed as if they were attending an afternoon barbeque. But there is always a time and place for everything. Clothing styles for the workplace continue to evolve. Some companies still require business attire, others don’t.
The point is to dress for the occasion. If you’re attending an important meeting, you obviously want to look your best to be taken seriously and be respected. I once met with a writer who came into my office to pitch a story idea. He wore a T-shirt, jeans, and flip-flops. My immediate impression was one of laziness. I assumed that his pitch would be as jumbled as his attire. I was right. The pitch wasn’t well thought out. It was carefree and meandering. This is not the impression you want to give the next time you approach the negotiation table.
When I give a lecture or workshop, I always wear a tie. Even in places like super-hot Singapore or super-casual Cannes, France, I wear a tie. I also always wear lace shoes. Neither one of these is a requirement. It’s what I do to make myself feel comfortable and confident. Probably nobody would notice if I wore loafers. But I would know. I would feel that I had been disrespectful to my audience.
Here is a less restrictive and simpler recommendation: Don’t dress to distract. You are in a negotiation. You want people to listen, and you need their eyes as well as their ears. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
Of course, every rule has an exception. See the film Erin Brockovich for such an example. In the film, Erin, played by Julia Roberts, is hired as a secretary at a small law firm. She dresses in short skirts, revealing blouses, and stiletto heels. Her co-workers don’t take her seriously. Little do they know Erin is extremely driven and smart. Her wardrobe becomes second nature as the film progresses. She begins to investigate a suspicious real estate case involving Pacific Gas & Electric Company, which leads her to become the point person in one of the biggest class action lawsuits in American history against a multibillion dollar corporation. All this despite her risqué wardrobe.
Mirror your environment as you prepare yourself for your first negotiating session. For example, don’t wear a three-piece suit to a place where all the employees, including the executives, wear jeans and polo shirts to work. Respectfully absorb that which is around you. Sink into the surroundings.
Become a part of them.
Some negotiators take this tip beyond the way they dress. For instance, some negotiators even adapt to the pace of the speech. In New York, where people tend to talk fast, good negotiators speed up their pace a bit; in the South, where people tend to talk slowly, good negotiators slow it down a few notches. Above all, know that good manners are different from place to place.
The theory of both books is to look at the boss in order to look like the boss. The startling response to Molloy’s books was that, all through the 1980s, droves of young female professionals began wearing dark blue suits, white silk blouses, and big red bows at the neck. Perhaps they were helping themselves up the ladder of success, but the necessity (or perceived necessity) for ambitious young women to transform their appearance to break into the good old boys’ club is distressing.
Today, dress styles in the workplace vary widely depending on the type of business. In the entertainment industry, for instance, dress styles tend to be more casual. Visit any animation studio and you will see folks dressed as if they were attending an afternoon barbeque. But there is always a time and place for everything. Clothing styles for the workplace continue to evolve. Some companies still require business attire, others don’t.
The point is to dress for the occasion. If you’re attending an important meeting, you obviously want to look your best to be taken seriously and be respected. I once met with a writer who came into my office to pitch a story idea. He wore a T-shirt, jeans, and flip-flops. My immediate impression was one of laziness. I assumed that his pitch would be as jumbled as his attire. I was right. The pitch wasn’t well thought out. It was carefree and meandering. This is not the impression you want to give the next time you approach the negotiation table.
When I give a lecture or workshop, I always wear a tie. Even in places like super-hot Singapore or super-casual Cannes, France, I wear a tie. I also always wear lace shoes. Neither one of these is a requirement. It’s what I do to make myself feel comfortable and confident. Probably nobody would notice if I wore loafers. But I would know. I would feel that I had been disrespectful to my audience.
Here is a less restrictive and simpler recommendation: Don’t dress to distract. You are in a negotiation. You want people to listen, and you need their eyes as well as their ears. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
- Women, you pull the eye away from your face if you wear dangling earrings or expose any cleavage.
- Men, you improve no business environment anywhere with gold chains or a sport shirt open to reveal massive amounts of that remarkable chest. Although this attire may get you attention wherever you like to stop off after work, it doesn’t contribute one bit to your negotiating position while you are at work.
Of course, every rule has an exception. See the film Erin Brockovich for such an example. In the film, Erin, played by Julia Roberts, is hired as a secretary at a small law firm. She dresses in short skirts, revealing blouses, and stiletto heels. Her co-workers don’t take her seriously. Little do they know Erin is extremely driven and smart. Her wardrobe becomes second nature as the film progresses. She begins to investigate a suspicious real estate case involving Pacific Gas & Electric Company, which leads her to become the point person in one of the biggest class action lawsuits in American history against a multibillion dollar corporation. All this despite her risqué wardrobe.
Mirror your environment as you prepare yourself for your first negotiating session. For example, don’t wear a three-piece suit to a place where all the employees, including the executives, wear jeans and polo shirts to work. Respectfully absorb that which is around you. Sink into the surroundings.
Become a part of them.
Some negotiators take this tip beyond the way they dress. For instance, some negotiators even adapt to the pace of the speech. In New York, where people tend to talk fast, good negotiators speed up their pace a bit; in the South, where people tend to talk slowly, good negotiators slow it down a few notches. Above all, know that good manners are different from place to place.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
A is for Alert
To negotiate at your best, you must be well rested and alert. If the negotiation is early in the morning, make sure you eat breakfast. If you feel stressed, do an early-morning workout or meditate. A well-rested and stress-free mind is an alert mind. And when you are alert
- Your concentration and ability to listen improve.
- You’re more likely to be quick-witted and able to respond to questions or attacks.
- You won’t rush to tie things up so you can get home or get to bed.
Your performance at any negotiation is aided by a good night’s sleep. Sometimes getting that sleep is easier said than done. If you find yourself thinking about a negotiation just when you want to go to sleep, try this trick:
Pull out a pad and jot down your thoughts. Keep going until you have cleaned out your mind. More often than not, this simple exercise enables you to doze off and secure some much-needed sleep. If you still can’t get to sleep after writing down your thoughts, at least you have a crib sheet to help your sleep-deprived mind get through the negotiating session.
Pull out a pad and jot down your thoughts. Keep going until you have cleaned out your mind. More often than not, this simple exercise enables you to doze off and secure some much-needed sleep. If you still can’t get to sleep after writing down your thoughts, at least you have a crib sheet to help your sleep-deprived mind get through the negotiating session.
Putting your plan into action
After you are clear about your vision and you take steps to achieve that vision, create your action plan. Your action plan includes the specific tasks you need to do, whom you need to help you do them, and when you need to get each step done. Action plans make you more efficient and effective. They enable you to anticipate needs, potential problems, and the time necessary for each step. The process of creating an action plan brings to light any potential obstacles that you may encounter in completing the steps. Then you can be clear about what you need to do to overcome these obstacles.
Here’s a recommendation for creating your action plan:
Here’s a recommendation for creating your action plan:
- Prioritize each of your goals. Think of your action plan like a meeting agenda. Some goals will carry more weight than others. For instance, maybe buying a house and adopting a pet are part of your three-year plan. Buying a house will probably require more planning and longer discussion than adopting a pet, so finding your new home would take a higher priority.
- List the action steps required for you to accomplish each goal. After you’ve prioritized your goals, determine what you need to do to carefully execute each goal. Include as many details as you can think of. Identify people you need to support you to achieve each action step. If it’s a family-oriented goal, such as moving homes, you probably want to involve the whole family. In a business-related goal, involve those who will be an asset to the process. When taking steps to achieve a goal, time is of the essence. Don’t let someone with a hidden agenda stifle your plan.
- Identify potential obstacles to each of the action steps. Pause when you identify an obstacle and figure out the best way to overcome it. Solving a problem early in the process saves you the time and hassle of dealing with a potential disaster down the road.
- Estimate the completion date for each of the action steps. Creating a timeline helps you methodically complete tasks by certain dates. Trying to achieve too much at once can often muddle the goalsetting process.
The three-year plan
To negotiate effectively, you need to know why you are engaged in the negotiation in the first place. Three-year plans are an excellent tool for planning your personal and professional life. They are brief enough to follow through on, and they are specific enough to move you toward meeting your vision. Maybe three years from now you won’t achieve everything you planned for, but if you don’t give any thought to what you want to accomplish over the next three years, you don’t stand a chance of attaining much of anything. Most people who aren’t happy with their lives and what they accomplished during the last five or ten years never bothered to look forward and develop a plan for that time period. Don’t let that happen to you. Make a three-year plan and then make sure that your negotiations contribute to achieving that plan.
Think big
Step one in achieving great results is to think big. In every aspect of a specific negotiation and in planning your life, think big. You can always scale back later. This is your life. When the next year goes by, it will be gone. You don’t get to do it over again. So take off the ball and chain; don’t let your life be shackled by small thoughts. You can never get more out of life than you choose to.
Think bold
In addition to thinking big, you need to think bold. When your vision seems very distant — when the road seems all uphill — you have to be very creative.
Try tackling the problem in a different way to reach a solution. The problem of figuring out how to make your vision become a reality is really an opportunity.
For all the horrible “B” films that director Edward D. Wood Jr. produced, his bravado is worth noting. Watch Tim Burton’s Ed Wood, starring Johnny Depp as the infamous director. Wood is consistently voted the worst director of all time. Burton’s film traces Wood’s undying optimism to get the films made. Studios refused to finance or distribute his films, but Wood persevered. He thought bold. He rounded up every resource possible and got his films made, despite their minuscule budgets. Ed Wood carried out his vision and transformed his goal into a reality.
Think in sound bites
Refrain from using catch words and phrases during life planning. A life plan ought to be more tailored and personal, and some phrases act as strong guideposts. I use these phrases to help explain some complicated concepts in my seminars and lectures. Here are a few of my favorite tips for life planning. These phrases are offered after people have established their vision statements and before action plans are designed.
Think big
Step one in achieving great results is to think big. In every aspect of a specific negotiation and in planning your life, think big. You can always scale back later. This is your life. When the next year goes by, it will be gone. You don’t get to do it over again. So take off the ball and chain; don’t let your life be shackled by small thoughts. You can never get more out of life than you choose to.
Think bold
In addition to thinking big, you need to think bold. When your vision seems very distant — when the road seems all uphill — you have to be very creative.
Try tackling the problem in a different way to reach a solution. The problem of figuring out how to make your vision become a reality is really an opportunity.
For all the horrible “B” films that director Edward D. Wood Jr. produced, his bravado is worth noting. Watch Tim Burton’s Ed Wood, starring Johnny Depp as the infamous director. Wood is consistently voted the worst director of all time. Burton’s film traces Wood’s undying optimism to get the films made. Studios refused to finance or distribute his films, but Wood persevered. He thought bold. He rounded up every resource possible and got his films made, despite their minuscule budgets. Ed Wood carried out his vision and transformed his goal into a reality.
Think in sound bites
Refrain from using catch words and phrases during life planning. A life plan ought to be more tailored and personal, and some phrases act as strong guideposts. I use these phrases to help explain some complicated concepts in my seminars and lectures. Here are a few of my favorite tips for life planning. These phrases are offered after people have established their vision statements and before action plans are designed.
- The tyranny of “or”: As people make life plans, they often ask themselves whether they want this or that. Try to use the word and. The word or is limiting. The word and is expansive. Frequently, finances require that people choose between desired purchases. When you make a life plan, however, include everything you want in life. You only get one chance to live this life. Live it free of the tyranny of or.
- The banishment of “just”: Whatever you do in life, do it well and with pride. Never again say, “I am just a housewife” or “I am just a baker” or “I am just . . .” Banish the word just as an adjective to describe you or your life’s work. After you have established your vision, never diminish it with a just.
- The law of parsimony: Although you have times when you want to lend a helping hand to the whole world, you have limited time in your life. You can’t help everybody. Only help the people who can use your help. Those are not necessarily people who need your help. Needy people sometimes distract you from your life purpose. Your job is to keep a steely eye on those goals you want to achieve for yourself and your family.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Deciding How You Are Going to Achieve Your Vision
Having a vision and knowing your values is great, but you need to know how you’re going to get where you want to go. You have to set a path for yourself so you can eventually live in that picture you have created for yourself. Note how values come into play in the business world. Small and large companies are specific when translating their missions into action. Think of the values (those things that are treated with importance and respect) affirmed by companies like McDonald’s or Blockbuster. Both respect family values. The fast-food chain’s mascot is a cheerful and colorful clown, and the restaurants have play areas. The food chain is fast, clean, and brightly lit. It caters to youngsters. Unlike many other movie-rental stores, Blockbuster doesn’t have an adult-movie section. This feature has made Blockbuster a safe place for parents to send their kids to pick up movies. Both companies demonstrate their commitment to their corporate vision and values through their action plan.
Internet service companies have also incorporated values into their business models. All major Internet services now provide parental control blockers. These devices help parents keep their children safe from Web sites that they consider questionable while their kids surf the Internet.
Internet service companies have also incorporated values into their business models. All major Internet services now provide parental control blockers. These devices help parents keep their children safe from Web sites that they consider questionable while their kids surf the Internet.
Upping the stakes
Here’s my definition of commitment:
If you don’t achieve your objective, someone will cut off your hand.
This definition sounds harsh. It is harsh. It draws a gasp at seminars. I never use it unless someone starts blaming others for something when, in fact, the problem would be solved by a little higher commitment from the person doing the complaining.
For instance, one participant insisted she had done all the right things, and the “other guy” was consistently late on a report due to her every Thursday by 5 p.m. The “other guy,” in this case, was a co-worker in another department of her company, and she depended on his information. When asked what she did about the late report, she said, “Well, I call him Friday morning and really chastise him for not turning in the report.” She was someone who prefers to have reasons for not getting a job done rather than doing whatever it takes to get it done. That’s when I stated my definition of commitment and asked her, “What if your hand is cut off at 5:01 on Thursday if you don’t have the report from him?” Her demeanor changed. The good solutions flew fast and furious. “I might tell him that the report was due Wednesday. Not only would I tell him it was due Wednesday, but I would probably be a lot nicer to him. I would probably want to know who was in charge of the material for his report in case he died before 5 on Thursday. I would visit his office, ask about his kids, and make sure that the material for my report is in a fireproof filing cabinet.” If the stakes are high enough, you will change your behavior, even if it means taking extra steps — that’s commitment. Even with the people who seem most impossible, you can get what you want if you are committed to getting results.
If you don’t achieve your objective, someone will cut off your hand.
This definition sounds harsh. It is harsh. It draws a gasp at seminars. I never use it unless someone starts blaming others for something when, in fact, the problem would be solved by a little higher commitment from the person doing the complaining.
For instance, one participant insisted she had done all the right things, and the “other guy” was consistently late on a report due to her every Thursday by 5 p.m. The “other guy,” in this case, was a co-worker in another department of her company, and she depended on his information. When asked what she did about the late report, she said, “Well, I call him Friday morning and really chastise him for not turning in the report.” She was someone who prefers to have reasons for not getting a job done rather than doing whatever it takes to get it done. That’s when I stated my definition of commitment and asked her, “What if your hand is cut off at 5:01 on Thursday if you don’t have the report from him?” Her demeanor changed. The good solutions flew fast and furious. “I might tell him that the report was due Wednesday. Not only would I tell him it was due Wednesday, but I would probably be a lot nicer to him. I would probably want to know who was in charge of the material for his report in case he died before 5 on Thursday. I would visit his office, ask about his kids, and make sure that the material for my report is in a fireproof filing cabinet.” If the stakes are high enough, you will change your behavior, even if it means taking extra steps — that’s commitment. Even with the people who seem most impossible, you can get what you want if you are committed to getting results.
Creating Your Vision
Most corporations and businesses have a mission or vision statement. The U.S. Army’s old adage is “Be all that you can be.” Employers often distribute their statement to employees at every level. They post it on their Web sites, display it on prominent bulletin boards, and print it in various company publications. Every employee is expected to know this statement. Ask those same employees whether they have a vision statement for their own lives and careers, and far too often the answer is no.
If you want to have the best personal life and a successful career, you need to think about your goals. The good life, no matter how you define it, doesn’t just happen. You need to set an agenda for both your short- and long-term goals. Think of your life as a negotiation. The better prepared you are, the smoother the negotiation is likely to go. Even a little planning is more than most people do, so making a small effort now puts you far ahead of the pack. The first step in creating a master plan for yourself is to identify your vision. A vision is an image of a desired future. The word vision is from the Latin videre, meaning to see. You should state your vision by describing, in present tense, a picture of the future you see for yourself. Your vision should be as rich in detail and as visual as possible. The description must be clear, understandable, and descriptive. Most important, your vision needs to motivate you. You count on your vision to give your life shape and direction. Here are some vision statements. I know that the first three have worked very well.
If you want to have the best personal life and a successful career, you need to think about your goals. The good life, no matter how you define it, doesn’t just happen. You need to set an agenda for both your short- and long-term goals. Think of your life as a negotiation. The better prepared you are, the smoother the negotiation is likely to go. Even a little planning is more than most people do, so making a small effort now puts you far ahead of the pack. The first step in creating a master plan for yourself is to identify your vision. A vision is an image of a desired future. The word vision is from the Latin videre, meaning to see. You should state your vision by describing, in present tense, a picture of the future you see for yourself. Your vision should be as rich in detail and as visual as possible. The description must be clear, understandable, and descriptive. Most important, your vision needs to motivate you. You count on your vision to give your life shape and direction. Here are some vision statements. I know that the first three have worked very well.
- Nordstrom: “To become America’s store of choice through the commitment of each employee to provide customers the very best in quality, value, selection, and service.”
- Microsoft: “Someday we’ll see a computer on every desk and in every home.”
- My law office: “To help my clients realize their dreams.”
- Young businessman: “To climb up the corporate ladder in an honest and professional way.”
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Goal and preparation
We’re riding on the information superhighway and never looking back. The landscape of communication has changed dramatically, thanks to the telephone and the Internet. These forms of telecommunication have made communication faster and sometimes simpler. More importantly, they’ve created a new mode of negotiating. You can now negotiate from the comfort of your own home, in a car while driving to your office, or from a different part of the world.
Negotiating via the telephone and Internet requires the same preparation and etiquette as a face-to-face negotiation. The only difference is that the negotiation happens at the lift of a headset or the push of a button. Although simpler, using the telephone or Internet to negotiate is not as good as negotiating in person. You miss the human interaction, the body language, and the gestures that are so important in gauging others when negotiating in a room.
Several steps, large and small, can help you take charge of all the negotiations you face in your life. Even if you currently think that you could never take control of certain areas of your life, challenge yourself to entertain the possibility. Consider actors, who do a great deal of waiting. Think of some employees who regard their roles as reactive and not proactive, whose job descriptions entail responding to someone else’s needs. The fact that your dreams or your paycheck seem to hinge on forces beyond your control shouldn’t stop you from creating a master plan for your life. Create a vision statement and an action plan.
After you have the big picture well in hand, you need to prepare physically and mentally for specific negotiations.
Negotiating via the telephone and Internet requires the same preparation and etiquette as a face-to-face negotiation. The only difference is that the negotiation happens at the lift of a headset or the push of a button. Although simpler, using the telephone or Internet to negotiate is not as good as negotiating in person. You miss the human interaction, the body language, and the gestures that are so important in gauging others when negotiating in a room.
Several steps, large and small, can help you take charge of all the negotiations you face in your life. Even if you currently think that you could never take control of certain areas of your life, challenge yourself to entertain the possibility. Consider actors, who do a great deal of waiting. Think of some employees who regard their roles as reactive and not proactive, whose job descriptions entail responding to someone else’s needs. The fact that your dreams or your paycheck seem to hinge on forces beyond your control shouldn’t stop you from creating a master plan for your life. Create a vision statement and an action plan.
After you have the big picture well in hand, you need to prepare physically and mentally for specific negotiations.
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