Cut the mumbo-jumbo

Some concepts are, by nature, just plain difficult to grasp. Sometimes being clear requires creativity. For example, if you have many numbers to present, try putting them in graphs — bar, pie, or line charts — anything but reams of numbers. Keep the lists of numbers as a backup. By all means, oversimplify technical points at first — you can explain fully later in the conversation, after you have your listeners hooked. Also, define jargon and spell out acronyms. For example, I say, “I’m going to LAX,” and people from outside of Los Angeles may not know that LAX is the airport. People from New York head to JFK. You got it. It’s the airport. Avoid references that may leave your listener wondering what the heck you’re taking about. In written materials, footnotes and appendices serve the purpose of clarity. Do everything you can to make listening and understanding easy and enjoyable.

Know your purpose or goals

When you know exactly what you want to say, communicating clearly is much easier. In the past, you must have had the urge to say, “So, what’s your point?” — usually with an exasperated tone. More often than not, a person who is asked that question looks surprised and fumbles for a good, onesentence answer. When the speaker doesn’t know the point, the listener is hopelessly lost.
In any communication, you should know the point and be keenly aware of the overall purpose or goal. Simply saying, “Oh, I just like to talk” is okay for recreational situations. But if you’re trying to get someone else to provide some action, approval, or acquiescence.

Tips for Being Clear

A well-turned phrase always involves an element of art. You don’t have to be an artist to be clear. The flowery phrase is nice; the clear phrase is a necessity. Part of the beauty of a clear phrase is how accurately it hits the bull’s-eye; that is, how precisely it conveys your meaning. If you assign people to complete tasks for you at work, your first task is to clearly tell the person what you want him or her to do. Easier said than done. Getting results in the workplace has less to do with charisma than with clarity. For best results, take your time. If something is worth saying, it’s worth saying clearly. Here are some hints for maximizing clarity.

1. Set the climate.
Be sure you’re in a place conducive to concentration at a time when the assistant or co-worker can pay attention. Listen to your words as you set the tone. A harried manager may unwittingly say, “Now this is a simple, mindless task; that’s why I’m giving it to you.” Not very motivating.

2. Give the big picture.
Describe the overall objectives. People need to see where their part fits into the whole to feel like they are a part of the loftier goal.

3. Describe the steps of the task.
This is the meat of the delegation discussion. Sometimes these steps are already printed in an instruction or procedures manual. You still need to go over these steps, however briefly, to assure yourself that the employee is familiar with them. If the steps are not already written out, have the person write the list as you speak. This effort increases the probability of retention.

4. Cite resources available.
Point out where to find other references on the task, if any. Resources include anyone who has completed the task before, a general book on the subject, or a specific manual for your office.

5. Invite questions.
Even if you feel that you don’t have time to answer questions, the extra attention is worth the effort. Better to spend the time to explain a task up front than be unhappy with the results later. Invite questions with open-ended prompting such as, “What questions do you have?” not “You don’t have any questions, do you?”

6. Get the person to summarize his or her strategy for accomplishing the task.
This step takes guts on your part; you risk being answered with a defensive “Do you think I’m stupid?” Use this sentence: “Call me compulsive —
I need you to summarize how you will get this done.” When you take responsibility, you reduce defensiveness in the other person.

7. Agree on a date to follow up.
The deadline depends on the complexity and value of the task. You may need time and practice to develop the fine art of following up without hovering. You greatly increase the chances that the person will meet the deadline if he or she helped to set it.

When you speak, ask “Did I make myself clear?” Ross Perot’s line during his oh-so-brief presidential campaign was, “Are you with me?” Such questions often help both parties proceed more productively. “Did I make myself clear?” may remind the other person to listen instead of lazily replying “yes.” If the point is critical, you may ask the other party to repeat the information back to you just to be sure that you are communicating effectively. Assure your counterpart that repeating vital information does not constitute an agreement — just clarification.

Worst case: The deal closesa

When a lack of clarity is a major factor in a negotiation, the biggest disasters occur when the deal closes and no one realizes that confusion remains. When written contracts are to follow, a lack of clarity is usually caught by the lawyers during the drafting stage, and the ambiguity can be worked out. In a less formal situation, the confusion generally isn’t discovered until much later. When that happens, both sides feel cheated and misled. People are rarely neutral about the cause of miscommunications. Blame is never far behind the discovery that the two parties failed to communicate well. Each party feels intentionally misled. The acrimony often permanently damages the relationship between the parties. The fallout often damages reputations, too. The truth of the matter is that the results of an intentional lie and a mere miscommunication are often about the same. Preventing an innocent miscommunication is well worth the extra energy expended.

The prices you pay without even knowing

Deals that don’t close are to be expected if you’re not clear during the negotiations. The harder item to assess is how the dynamic of the discussion changes when communications are not clear.
When you are not clear, the other party feels insecure. Rather than confront you on your lack of clarity, the person you’re negotiating with often just compensates in one of two ways:

• Reciprocal obfuscation: That term simply means that the other party starts to be unclear, too. (I love the irony of using a hard-to-understand phrase to describe things that are hard to understand.) The other party doesn’t know where you stand, because you are not being clear. So, they won’t feel comfortable making a clear commitment either. This situation substantially slows down a negotiation and may make productive communication almost impossible.
• Leaving lots of room to maneuver: If you are not clear, others won’t feel safe enough to tell you specifically what they want. Rather than commit to a position, your counterpart will leave lots of room to maneuver, until you clarify where you want to end up.

These consequences are almost impossible to detect. Instead, you begin blaming the lack of clarity or indecisiveness on the other party. If you run into one of these behaviors, see whether the problem didn’t start with you. Even if it didn’t — even if you are dealing with someone who is naturally unclear or reluctant to take a position — you can push that person to greater clarity or decisiveness by communicating more clearly yourself.

Deals that disappear because being unclear

A common example of lack of clarity occurs when one party intentionally makes an unrealistic opening offer. Early in the negotiation, one person throws out an outrageous opening offer although it is intended as a trial balloon, it is presented as though it were a reasonable offer or worse, as something for which there is very little negotiating room. If the offer doesn’t get the expected reaction (shock, disbelief, laughter, and ultimately bursting of the balloon), the person who made the offer often recounts, with great animation, that the other person “didn’t even bat an eye.”
Too much is made of the fact that a counterpart doesn’t faint when an unrealistic number is offered. What you don’t hear about so often is the follow-up. As I was writing this blog, I purposely followed up every time I heard such a story. I tracked the negotiations to see the results. I was not totally surprised to discover that — in a majority of the cases — the deals fell through. In all but one case, the reason was an excuse other than the initial high demand, such as scheduling conflicts, changing concepts, and postponements. This little study of mine was not scientific in any way, but it provided interesting support for my theory. When you start with an opening offer or a demand that is well outside the reasonable range, the other side will often slink away rather than get involved in a futile negotiation.
It would be difficult to ascertain what percentage of negotiations never get underway because the initial demand was too high. I believe that it happens more often than most people suspect. The person who is turned off may never say a word to the party making the demand. Think of your own behavior. If you think the prices in a boutique are outrageous, do you say so? Or do you smile at the shopkeeper and say, “Just looking”?

The highest cost of being unclear

The first Gulf War (Desert Storm) may well have been avoided if the diplomats had been clearer in the days just before the invasion of Kuwait by Iraq. President Saddam Hussein of Iraq wanted to destroy Kuwait for a number of reasons — all of which were good and valid to him. He was not prepared to take on the United States, let alone the entire world. Therefore, he met for several hours with America’s Ambassador April Glaspie. The ambassador said to Hussein, “We have no opinion on Arab-Arab conflicts, like your border disagreement with Kuwait.”
Astonishing.
The ambassador insists that there was more to the discussion than was printed in the transcript, but she doesn’t deny these comments. A disparity exists between the two parties’ renditions. Assume that each party related the events as accurately as possible. Obviously, they were not as clear with each other at the time of the original discussion as they were in the reporting of the discussion afterward.
Even Hussein’s telling of the tale indicates some lack of clarity regarding his intentions toward Kuwait. He never said his intention was to eliminate Kuwait from the face of the earth. On the other hand, the United States never even hinted at the kind of response that was ultimately invoked. Obviously, the communication was not clear. Clear communications may or may not have prevented the Gulf War. A clear message from the United States to Iraq may not have been believed. Perhaps Iraq was willing to wage war against the United States for some mysterious reason. The world will never know. However, documents show that within the month before the invasion, the United States communicated directly to Saddam Hussein in a way that caused him to think Iraq could cross the border into Kuwait without repercussions. If you ever question the wisdom of being clear, please think for a moment about the men and women who died in the Gulf War and their families who still miss them. Every war provides stories of the high human price paid for failed communications. In World War II, Japan actually intended to send us a two-hour warning before the attack on Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941. The Japanese decoder at the embassy was out sick that day, and his replacement could not type. Consequently, the message wasn’t delivered to anybody in authority until after the fact.

General distractions

Other barriers to clarity can be fatigue, laziness in preparation, or the clutter of distracting interruptions.

• Fatigue: You may be just plain tired and unable to focus. Pay attention to your body’s signals. Sometimes a brisk walk outdoors revives you. Good nutrition and adequate rest are requirements for a master negotiator. If you eat right and get plenty of sleep, you can eliminate the need for cup after cup of coffee to stay alert. But, in a pinch, an occasional dose of caffeine works, too.
• Laziness: You may not have prepared well enough and you are dreading being clear on some facts that are unsubstantiated. If this situation strikes a familiar chord, do your homework.
• Interruptions: Your listener may be doodling or not making eye contact. The room temperature may be extreme. Noise levels may be too high for you to be heard clearly. Hopefully, you are assertive enough to request these changes appropriately.

If the conversation or negotiation is important, be sure that you are well rested, prepared, and in an environment where clear communications can be heard.

Fear of hurting someone else

Often, people avoid hurting the feelings of others not out of compassion, but out of self-protection. Everyone wants to be liked; no one wants to be shunned. Toward that legitimate social end, you have probably learned to obfuscate with a vengeance.
I’ve developed some stock phrases to use after a bad play or a weak film when the producers cluster around to hear my praise. “Very interesting” is one of the most damning. “Brave” is good. “Top of the genre” is probably my noncommittal favorite. Sometimes, when a work is a “work in progress,” such vague statements are suited to your purpose of encouraging the creators. Such phrases are intended to mask the truth, and they do just that. Being clear and being confrontational are two different things. If you have bad news to deliver, do so with dignity and respect for the person’s feelings. Even if you feel, in every fiber of your being, that the person is overreacting to your news, don’t say so. Let the feelings run their course. But don’t flinch or amend your statement. Just wait. This, too, shall pass. Being clear in such situations takes strength and confidence. Never sacrifice clarity to avoid confrontation. Your desire to do so generally masks the real motive — which is to spare yourself the discomfort or trauma of delivering bad news.

Fear of rejection

Everyone has a built-in fear factor. You may be afraid that if you present your ideas clearly, the listener will reject you or your conclusions. The natural inclination is to avoid rejection by blurring lines, being unclear, and failing to state your case accurately.
Instead, you postpone the inevitable. After all, when the listener eventually understands you, he rejects the concept with the added energy that comes from frustration. “Why didn’t you say so?” he asks. “Why did you waste my time?” he demands. These are tough questions to answer. If it is true that an accurate statement of intent would cause the deal to fall apart, being clear is even more important. When you close a deal without being clear, the parties have different understandings and expectations. You are finalizing a bad deal. In fact, you are closing a deal that cannot possibly work.

When You Have to Say No

Sometimes, you just need to say no, and being as clear as possible should be your goal. Here’s how to do it without alienating someone. Tom knocks on top of your cubicle partition, leans in, and asks, “Got a minute?” Instead of glancing at your watch and saying okay with a martyred sigh, you look up and analyze the request. You see his lower lip trembling and his eyes filling with tears. You know he wants to talk about his divorce — again — and you have a report to finish. You recognize that this won’t be a 60-second interruption, no matter what he claims. You resist the reflexive hot button response, “In your dreams, pal,” because you depend on Tom in your job.
A rapport with him is a priority for you. Use the triple-A approach:

• Acknowledge: Tell him that you understand how he feels and what he wants. “Tom, you look upset — it looks as though you need to talk.” This statement, which takes only six seconds to say, calms him because now he doesn’t have to work to make you understand his feelings. You have said, in essence, “I understand your priority — and it’s important” (another sentence that takes six seconds to say). We call this six-second empathy.
• Advise: Let him know your priority — calmly and confidently. Say, “Tom here’s the situation. I have a report to finish for the boss, and it’s due in half an hour.” You have understood his need, and now you’re asking him to understand yours. Many people, when told of your priority, will back off. But not Tom. That’s why there’s a third step.
• ccept or alter: Accept the interruption with time limits (“I can give you five minutes”) or suggest an alternative option (“I’ll come to your cubicle after I finish the report”).

This is the best way to say no. Use it as a model. You won’t always be able to achieve the ideal outcome described, but try to come as close as you can. With peers, you can suggest an alternative option, but what about with your boss? Tom will actually thank you and go away happy. With the boss, your best option is almost always to accept. The boss’s priorities are your priorities —it’s in the job description. However, don’t leave out the second step. Always advise the boss of your activities and priorities. Sometimes the boss is grateful for the information and withdraws the request or removes some of your existing obligations. Other times, you are expected to do all the work anyway. Advising puts the burden on the boss to say which task is to be done first. Never skip that step.

Capturing an Audience

You’ve heard the phrase, “It’s all in the presentation.” The same applies to you. Clarity makes you a good presenter during a negotiation. Here are some tips to help you get through your next negotiation, when the spotlight is on . . . you:

• Analyze your audience. Put yourself in your counterparts’ shoes. Try to understand their map of reality, and anticipate what outcome they seek from the negotiation. After you gauge what your audience wants, you can figure out how best to sell your ideas of the negotiation at hand.
• Set your goal and keep it handy. Decide what outcome you would like to achieve as a result of the negotiation. Make sure that everything you say and do contributes to that outcome. Make sure that you stress your key points. Present your ideas and, if you are making a formal presentation at the beginning of a negotiation on a large project, consider giving your audience an outline of your presentation so they can follow along. They can follow your outline and use it to take notes. It also gives you a measure of control on what information they take away.
• Do your homework. Research. Research. Research. Don’t start a negotiation knowing little or nothing about your topic. Anticipate questions, and make sure you have the facts to back them up. Always prepare so you’re ready for any emergency such as a well-aimed question from one of your counterparts. Preparation will give you reserve power. You want people to sit up and take notice. If you are going to make a formal presentation at the opening of a negotiation, be sure to practice. Practice until you know you are prepared to tackle any question thrown at you. Remember, your time in front of a group is your showcase.
• Confidence is the key. Confidence is the key to being crystal clear. Remember, you have to be confident to show confidence. Have faith in yourself and your abilities. Think about how your presentation will help your audience to get what they want. Your goal remains fixed. Your job is to convince your listeners that your goal is something they want for their side also. Careful preparation provides the solid ground you need to support your self-confidence. Coach yourself. Tell yourself you can do it. Listen to your inner voice and tell yourself that you are more qualified than anyone else in room to give your presentation.
• Plan your presentation. Make a list of all the points you plan to discuss in your negotiation. Group your topics of discussion into sections and put the sections in the order that best achieves your objectives. When you put your talk together, keep in mind why your audience would want to hear what you have to say. Their interest in your points is not automatic. Remember, they are there to convince you that their goals are just what you want, not vice versa. You have to work to get their attention. Never assume that they will automatically pay close attention to what you have to say.
• Plan your format and delivery. Speak loud and clear. Don’t mumble. Don’t put your hand near your mouth, obscuring the sound of your voice. How you give your talk can be every bit as important as what you say. If needed, use your outline to guide you through your discussion. Don’t make your presentation monotonous. You don’t want to bore your audience. The most exciting idea in the world will fall on deaf ears if it’s presented in a boring manner. Conversely, audiences have been known to rally around some pretty lame ideas when they were fired up by a persuasive speaker.
• Manage expectations. Communication is a two-way street. Before you begin your negotiation, be sure everyone in the room knows what to expect. They will arrive with some preconceived ideas. Your advance communication about your presentation needs to be clear to set the perceptions right so no one is confused or disappointed.

Never take your audience for granted. People have very short attention spans. Not more than 15 percent of a person’s brain power is required to understand your language and grasp what you mean. Don’t let the remaining 85 percent of a person’s brain slip into a daydream. To keep your audience with you, make your message visual, build anticipation, create a conversation cycle. Keep your listener’s mind 100 percent occupied.

Too busy to be clear

These important people don’t think they can take the time to be clear. They save minutes, but others may spend hours trying to figure out what they want and need.

• Schedule meetings at the beginning of the day to avoid distractions and ensure everyone’s full attention.
• Guard against interruptions; for example, request the person hold his or her calls for ten minutes in order to get information.
  
• Be efficient in meetings — have a written agenda even for a two-person meeting. The agenda shows others how much you value the person’s time.
  
• Show you are taking notes and recording comments.
• Be appropriate but keep pressing for the details you need. Sometimes, you need to steer your boss to clarity.

The next time the boss slams papers on your desk and says, “We need this yesterday,” do the following:

1. Stifle the urge to answer “in your dreams.”
2. Answer immediately. Respond with a positive, “Yes, absolutely — will do.” After all, this is the boss. And this reply will relax your employer because it’s what any boss wants to hear.
3. Ask for prioritization.

This step is essential: Because you are already fully aware of your priorities and the allotted time to accomplish them, answer, “Here’s the situation, Boss. I’ve got these other two priorities you want by 3 o’clock today. Which of these can be put off until tomorrow?” By following these steps, you have forced the boss to be clear. Your boss needs to prioritize — that’s a boss’s job. Sometimes your boss will go away without making any further demands, realizing that you are already working on important projects.

Understanding unprepared people

Some people may have difficulty getting fully prepared for negotiations. For whatever reason, they never seem to have all the answers. You can do one of two things:

• Postpone the meeting.
• Conduct the meeting at the unprepared party’s office. Tactfully invite your counterpart’s support people who may know more about the subject.

Understanding Interrupters

These people even interrupt themselves. They lose their train of thought while they are speaking and tend to jump from point to point.

• Take careful notes while an interrupter is talking. But don’t write the ideas down in the order they are presented. Write a topic heading. Make notes, and when the speaker switches topics, leave a lot of space. Write a new topic heading and the notes. When the speaker switches back to a previous topic, go back to that topic section and continue your note taking.
  
• Concentrate and stay focused. This is hard work.
  
• Keep reminding the speaker of the most recent statement before the interruption. Don’t leave until you get a specific answer.
  
• Be appropriate but keep pressing with your own specific questions.

Understanding Tangent people

Some people are not clear because they ramble; that is, they go off on a tangent.

• Listen up to a point. You are listening especially for a good point to break into their discourse so you can bring them back to the topic.
  
• Be assertive when you interrupt. Not impolite, but firm.
  
• Your first statement should be a validation, “Yes, you’re right. Now, as to the purpose . . .” That’s how you get people with this type of communication pattern back on track.

Steering Others to Clarity

Nobody wants to be a bad communicator. Most people are insulted if someone tells them they are difficult to understand. At the beginning of my seminars, I discuss the basic skills needed in every negotiation. Then I ask students to rate themselves on these skills. I have never had anyone in any seminar describe himself or herself as a poor communicator — even those who say that communication is the area that they need to work on the most. When the other party is not being clear, your job is to steer that person toward concise communication. Don’t just toss them this book (although it may make a nice gift). Coax from your counterpart a clear statement of intentions, wants, and needs. Your technique for acquiring this information depends on the type of person you are dealing with.

Try being a journalist

When you think of clear writing, the most common reference point is your daily newspaper. From coast to coast, there is a consistency in stories written for the newspaper that seems to cross regional lines, ownership, and size of the newspaper. You may find it odd that so many journalists write in the same style with the same degree of clarity.

Actually, every school of journalism in the country teaches students about the “five horsemen” of journalism: Who?, What?, Where?, When?, and Why? The journalist is supposed to answer these five questions in the first paragraph of a story. The next five paragraphs should each expand on the answer to one of the questions. The least important information appears at the end of the story. That way, if the story is too long for the available space in the newspaper, editors can just delete the end of story, and no important information is lost.

Look at a copy of today’s newspaper. Pick any story that interests you in the first section (or the news section if you read your daily paper online). I point you to that section because stories there are more likely to follow the traditional structure of news writing. Reporters depart from the structure in some of the special-interest sections, such as the sports or entertainment sections. As you read the first paragraph of a straight news story (especially a story from one of the wire services), notice how the reporter explains:

• Who the story is about
• What the person did to land in the news
• Where the event happened
• When the event took place
• Why the event occurred

Read the last few paragraphs of the article and notice how trivial that information is compared to the first few paragraphs. Notice how the first few paragraphs after the lead paragraph are packed with important material compared with the information later in the story. Use the same technique, and you can’t go wrong. Remember: You’re providing the information your listener needs to know to achieve your goal. Organize the facts like a newspaper story.

The written word is often more useful than the spoken word

The written word is often more useful than the spoken word when you’re trying to communicate clearly. When you have something to say, write it down, look at it, edit it, and make it right. When the words are your own, you don’t have to release them until they are as near to perfect as possible. Many people believe they can’t or don’t know how to write as clearly as they speak. This is rarely true. The simple fact is that when you write instead of speak the words, you can see more easily whether your message is unclear. You can see in black and white that the words are ambiguous or your thoughts are incomplete.
Also, the written word disallows such conversational crutches as “ya know what I mean?” When used as a rhetorical question, this phrase doesn’t clarify the issues. It moves the conversation deeper into confusion. The process of putting your thoughts into writing brings you face-to-face with your failure to communicate clearly. Rather than bemoan your lack of writing skills, open your eyes and say honestly — maybe for the first time in your life —
“Wow, I didn’t realize how poorly I have been communicating my ideas.”
Here are some basic tips to get you on the road to clear communication:

• Use short sentences.
• Use short words.
• Avoid jargon and abbreviations — even when you are writing to another professional in your field — unless the other person uses these terms exactly the way that you do.
• Complete your sentences.
• Stick to one idea per paragraph.
• Have a beginning, middle, and end to the overall communication.
• Be accurate.

Don’t be afraid to number paragraphs to cover different points, but don’t delude yourself into thinking that numbering paragraphs brings order to a document that otherwise lacks coherence or good sense.

Keep your commitments

Being clear includes being consistent in the words you say and the deeds that follow. If you say one thing and do another, it’s confusing. Your inconsistent conduct turns an otherwise clear communication into a real puzzlement. Keep each and every commitment that you make during a negotiation. In life, keeping commitments is important; in a negotiation, it’s essential. Keeping your commitments is the acid test of clarity; it’s also the bedrock of trust. A notorious thief can look you in the eye and say, “I will have that assignment on your desk at 2 p.m.” If the assignment is there, the thief has gained your trust. On the other hand, if an honest person misses the 2 p.m. deadline, your trust in that person is diminished. If you tell the other party that you will call back at 9 the next morning, be sure to call at that time. Breaking your promise calls your integrity into question and creates confusion about what exactly you meant when you promised to call back at 9 a.m. Failing to keep your word also upsets the other party. Such inattention may be considered, debated, and evaluated by the other side. Their loss of trust may call into question side issues and create tensions that are counterproductive to a negotiation.
If you are negotiating with someone on behalf of a client or company, failure to keep commitments is harmful to you and the party you’re representing. This neglect can damage your relationship with your client or your standing within the company. Word often gets back about your unprofessional behavior. Professional negotiators are often falsely blamed for not returning calls or not providing documentation in a timely fashion. Don’t provide grist for that mill.