Count to three

One. Two. Three. Here’s an extraordinarily simple device to help you listen more effectively. Just count to three before you speak. This slight delay enables you to absorb and understand the last statement before you respond. The delay also announces that you have given some thought to what you are about to say. It gives oomph to the words that will come out of your mouth.

As you practice this skill over time, counting may not be necessary, but the pause always pays off. You absorb the message, and you give the other party one last chance to modify the statement or question. Even if your response is simply that you must consult with your client, spouse, or boss, pausing for three beats helps you better comprehend and remember what the other person said.