Observing how someone is sitting or standing is only the first step in reading body language — after all, people aren’t frozen in time like statues. They move; their positions and gestures change with their attitudes and emotions. Notice these shifts. They are important. They may mean that the person is getting restless, or they may mean a shift
up or down in the person’s acceptance level.
As someone’s acceptance of your ideas grows, you may notice the following indicators:
- Cocking the head
- Squinting the eyes slightly
- Uncrossing the legs
- Leaning forward
- Scooting to the edge of the chair
- Increasing eye contact
- Touching the forehead or chin, as in the statue The Thinker
- Touching you (if the movement is to reassure, and not to interrupt) Just as you can gauge increasing acceptance to your ideas by watching body language, you can also notice signs of increasing resistance to your ideas. For example, if someone clutches the back of his neck with his palm, you can interpret this gesture quite literally as, “This message is a pain in the neck.”
Here are some other gestures of resistance:
- Fidgeting nervously (cannot accept what is being said)
- Reducing eye contact (cannot accept what is being said)
- Placing hands behind one’s back (indicates an attempt to stay in control of one’s own self — resisting the urge to act out verbally or physically)
- Placing a hand over one’s mouth (may indicate an attempt to hold back a negative comment)
- Locking ankles
- Gripping one’s arm or wrist
- Crossing the arms in front of the chest
- Squinting one’s eyes dramatically
- Making fistlike gestures
- Twisting the feet or the entire body so they point to the door
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