Sometimes I can talk all day about how to improve communication and people never get it. In the spirit of fun, here are some handy tongue-in-cheek tips for people who strive to be bad communicators, to stay unclear, and to keep creating quagmires and confusion in their lives.
Use these six little secrets to keep your life in chaos. Use them in business and at home to keep things in turmoil. These are also handy ways to ensure a high employee turnover.
Raise your voice
If you really don’t want to get your point across, just begin shouting or scolding. Either response prevents any further intelligent discourse. This rule is particularly important when a language barrier prevents someone from understanding you. When someone doesn’t understand your language, just talk louder. Loud communicates the same message to people all around the world. Loud is disrespectful. Loud characterizes someone you don’t want to do business with.
Leave out details
Details let the other person know exactly what you want or need. Leave the message fuzzy if you want to continue having bad communication. Details take time. You can shave valuable minutes off the average communication by leaving out the details. After all, it only takes a few hours to clean up most messes created by such an omission.
Don’t check to see if you were understood
This rule is very important for would-be bad communicators. If you spend time checking to see whether you were understood, all the other efforts you make to be a bad communicator can be thrown out the window. Don’t give the other person a chance to say, “I didn’t understand xyz.” Otherwise, you’ll have to clarify. If you want to be unclear, do your deed and skedaddle before anybody can ask any questions.
Walk away and talk at the same time
Toss your request, instruction, or demand flippantly over your shoulder as you are walking away from the person to whom you are speaking. Preferably, avoid looking at the other person during conversation. This technique denies virtually any possibility of being understood. And you haven’t wasted those precious seconds required to face the person you are talking to and make eye contact.
Assume that everyone understands you
If you are a bad communicator, you already know about the dangers of assuming information, but we thought we would remind you anyway about the most popular tool of the unclarity trade. Just send an old-fashion telegram when a detailed letter is needed.
Don’t permit any objections or questions
Heck, don’t permit any response. The other person may be taking up your time to understand the niggling information. Toss out whatever you have to say and cut off the discussion. Anything further would just help clarify what you are saying.
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